hearts on loose.
Saturday, June 06, 2009, 11:41 PM
Break my heart for what breaks Yours
I spent the 45 minutes of the journey to Woodlands this afternoon, thinking how i should go about sharing with the team about my week or what i should say about my 'fears'(since Jerrold mentioned it in the email so i thought we were supposed to share it). Well, its a fact that i am afraid of creepy crawlies, heights, nightmares, public speaking, all kinds of animals(except Princess of course), exams and so on. But honestly, fear is way more than just that.Well, so i still kept thinking about what i should say at the pre-rehearsal prayer. Until i saw the whole stack of daily bread(a reading material) on the table beside the stage. I picked a piece up, flipped it, and came to a really random passage which talked about fears. I read it and was amazed about what i had just read.
Into The Unknown: One of the greatest obstacles we face in following Christ is fear of the unknown. We yearn to know in advance the outcome of our obedience and where He is taking us, yet we are given only the assurance that He is with us and that He is in charge. And with that, we venture into the unknown with Him. Abraham modeled the response of a person who is willing to walk with God into an uncertain future."By faith Abraham obeyed when he was called... And he went out, not knowing where he was going." (Hebrews 11:8) Abraham knew that God had called him and had given him a promise-and that was enough. He was willing to entrust his future to the Lord....
Spot on. Thing is, what if i lack the faith, or even the courage to go forth in carrying out His plan? I really do hate the feeling of being insecure. It's just like like being unsure about what's gonna happen next. Like you don't know where the bobby traps are hidden. And the fear of stepping onto one of them rips your soul so bad that you're struggling just to stay alive.
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I wanted to walk home just now. Spend some time thinking through certain things and all. But i guess i managed to do all that on the long bus ride. And because i was on heels the entire day(which made my feet scream for mercy btw), so i dropped the idea of walking home and missed enjoying the night's cool breeze.
Oh and before i forget, there's a full moon tonight.
Charmaine is God's Child.
(I am far from perfect. But i will be perfect for that imperfect someone who is perfect for me.)
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"Above all else, guard your heart, for its the wellspring of life."
-Proverbs 3:12