hearts on loose.
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2C'07 Amanda Avriel Boonchew Eunice.G Hannah Liling Louise Minlong Putri Siti Siuweng Syahidah Vivian Weenee Yongsiang Layout: Vehemency

Thursday, January 15, 2009, 10:21 PM
Sweet Tragedy

I feel so _(indescribable). I can't help but think about the situation and get so worried about your well-being. I have this sudden urge to run over to your side and give you a big hug. I know you will never show it, no matter how terrible you'd be feeling inside. But i want you to know that i will always be there for you, come what may. If you fall and stumble down, i will pick you up off the ground. Please, cheer up alright? ):

Sometimes, i really wish i could save you.

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Monday, January 05, 2009, 9:33 PM
Through With You

Someday you'll miss me, like i missed you.
Someday you'll need me, like i needed you.
Someday you'll love me, but i won't love you.

As cliche as it may sound, i know it all happened for a reason. And that reason had actually happened to be a good one. To be honest i haven't stopped thinking, but i guess i ought to come to a realization and stop pushing the blame to you. Like what CWL said to me this morning as we ran to school, i should stop torturing myself and you aren't to blame either. I'm pretty much glad i made that decision from the start, because somehow, i could see this coming. But still, i must say you're really good at crossing my path and make me take yet another u-turn. What i'm trying to say is, i don't wanna do this anymore. Your very last sentence to me that day woke me up from this dream. Yeah, it was a sweet dream. But dreams, they don't last for long. I woke up.

Thank you for the memories, tkj.

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Friday, August 01, 2008, 6:33 PM
Every little thing you do

It doesn't really matter why i love you, ♥

Today, i woke up feeling like zzz.
Today, F&N test was easy.
Today, Miss Ho sent 6 guys to the Foyer.
Today, POA made me go nuts.
Today, i fell asleep during Lit class.
Today, i went crazy with Enik again.
Today, prolly another worse day of my life.

Yeah, ironies.

I still remember the way you knelt before me. That look in your eye when you told me you were sorry. Those aimless walks around various places. The way you'd embarrass yourself by eating like a kid and getting chocolate all over your face. Those endless phone calls. Falling asleep on long bus rides. And, the way you'd say those three words.

Well, it's hard, definitely. But i'll move on eventually.

Anyway, i thank God for the people He has blessed me with. May it be those whom had brought much joy into my life, or even had scars left in it. It doesn't matter, because i believe it has only made me learn from my mistakes, pick myself up from that fall, and start all over again. It's not easy, but i know i can do this with His loving hands to come pick me up.

About yesterday, i still can't believe we could actually pull off an act and fool Daddy like that. Imagine him attending to Joey a.k.a the injured one, then in a blink of an eye Enik and gang pops into the picture with a cake and some backup singers. Well, i'm glad you're was happy and you know we love you very much.

And now, pictures i know you're dying to see.
*Looks at Daddy* ^^

Keeping the spirit alive, ♥

Tag replies:
Alawiyyah; Thanks love, you too! ♥
JCYW; What are cousins for? ♥
Minlong; Sorry, i don't talk to dao people. :P
Daddy; You're most welcome! Anything for you. ♥
Iris; Oh, i didn't even know anything about it in the first place? Relax, i'm not a monster who bear grudges.
Hidayah; Yeah, yesterday was amazing. (:
Leon; Apparently, i'm still sick? How about that man, big brother. Lol.
Yienqing; Hey, thanks yea. Mug hard for Os!

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Tuesday, May 13, 2008, 11:40 PM
I wanted it all, i wanted.

But I'll always remember, how we came this close. ♥

I wanted you to be there when I fall
I wanted you to see me through it all
I wanted you to be the one I loved
I wanted you, I wanted you
I wanted you to hold me in my sleep
I wanted you to show me what I need
I wanted you to know just how down deep
I wanted you, I wanted you

Note to self: I. Am. Not. Affected.

Charmaine wants to cry. But she's not going to.
Screw it.

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Monday, May 05, 2008, 6:09 PM
Tell me, what is it i'm reaching for.

[Edit] Pictures added! [/Edit]

Was feeling pretty emozxz that day, therefore didn't have the mood to edit and upload pictures. Well, there you go!

P/s Let's just hope the both of them won't kill me, just yet. :D

A Subway Affair
Sigh, i guess that's the only thing i can do now. Isn't it?

You can put it that way..
Actually, no.
It's actually the most sensible and matured thing to do now.

Thankyou, J.
There's no escape in love, once a gentle breeze sweeps its spell upon your heart. ♥

Anyway,
EL Paper 2, down. (Good)
Math Paper 1, down. (Not so good)

As much as i thought today was gonna be a good day bcos Nicole and Syah totally spiced up my life. Issues regarding some matters of the heart just had to pop into the picture yet again and simply screw my mood upside down. Argh, nevermind.

Okay, gonna burn the midnight oil for SS and Chem tonight.
Goodbye.

陈凯军, 我就是要等你回来爱我.

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Friday, May 02, 2008, 11:59 PM
All i want is you

甜甜的

Keep holding on, cos you know we'll make it through. ♥

I don't know why, but today seem rather good. For a change, perhaps.

And i don't know why. But there's indeed so many things i wanna tell you. So many things that have been waiting to get out of my chest. It's been a month and eleven days since. True enough, this cannot be compared to the previous 2 months of agony. But this ain't any better if you'd realise. You know, the moment you said you'd get me something for my birthday, and will think of what to get for me even when you have no idea, i was practically smiling to my laptop screen. Frankly speaking, i don't need a present from you. Bcos you know what's my one and only birthday wish. So yeah, it's up to you if it'll be fulfilled. (:

P/s I'd still be waiting, even if it takes me forever.

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Thursday, May 01, 2008, 12:12 PM
Have you ever?

How am i supposed to tell you how i feel? ♥
Have you ever wondered which hurts the most? Saying something and wishing you hadn't? Saying nothing and wishing you had?

I guess the most important things are the hardest things to say. Don't be afraid to tell someone you love them.

If you do, they might break your heart.
But if you don't, you might break theirs.

Have u ever decided not to be attached because you were so afraid of losing what you already had with that person?

Your heart decides whom it likes and whom it doesn't. You can't tell your heart what to do. It does it on its own, when you least suspect it. Or even when you don't want it to.

Have you ever wanted to love someone with everything you had, but that other person was too afraid to let you?

Too many of us stay walled up because we are too afraid to care too much...for fear that the other person does not care as much, or even at all.

Have you ever denied your feelings for someone because your fear of rejection was too hard to handle?

We tell lies when we are afraid, afraid of what we don't know, afraid of what others will think, afraid of what will be found out about us.

But every time we tell a lie, the thing we fear just grows stronger.

-Taken from some random chain email i received a few days ago.
P/s Would you tell me what my next move should be?

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Monday, April 21, 2008, 9:35 PM
Cos sometimes when we touch

I wanna hold you till the fear in me subsides.

I just wanna tell you that ilubchuuuuzxz! ♥
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From top left, clockwise:
Ahhs, Zhao Zhi(Di di!), Justin Chew, Siti/Syah/Nicole

Received many many birthday wishes the moment i stepped into school, almost cried when i saw Nicole's specially personalised birthday card on my table, hugged her to bits, went high high high in class, got surprised with a cake/superly huge teddy bear/huge card during recess by my beloved Ahhs, was so overwhelmed with joy until i almost cried, camwhored in class after assembly with awesome people, lunch date with Nicole, beloved cousin Chew Yong Wei offered to help me carry around my superly huge present, accompanied him on the bus ride to Vivo, messaged Sweets until i got home(♥♥♥). Another great day, praise the Lord! :D

Okay and now, recap!

Last week was pretty much a disaster. Was already feeling sick since Tuesday and yet i went to run for my 2.4km test. Fell even deeper into being a sick cow on Wednesday and so got an MC for both Thursday and Friday. Therefore resulting to missing lessons and most importantly, Speech Day cum Aesthetics Night. Wasn't able to be there at SP to cheer for Nicole and take photos with Syah whom looked really really really stunning/gorgeous that night. Rawr, screw that high fever, headache, flu, cough and sore throat. :/

Anyhow, things got better during the weekends! Mum brought me out to get my new phone, a W890i baaaaaby! :D D :D Met up with Kris awhile later then Mum brought us for a Japanese dinner, a treat for the April babies. Heh. Walked around BPP while trying to waste time and cracking our brains for Leon's birthday present before heading over to church. Guess what, the moment we stepped into church, Mag presented me with a big sunflower! Ilubchuuuuuzxz, dear! ♥ Though i almost froze to death in the Sanctuary, service was good and i managed to stay wide awake. Good sign, good sign.

Studied a teeny weeny bit at the yellow benches with Eunice, Sarah and Kris. Though i get didn't do much simply bcos i forgot to bring my TKAM and had to borrow Eunice's Physics' book to study, i guess going through those formulas did have some good use. :D Went for a buffet lunch at Hotel Intercontinental with Dad, Mum and Sis after that. Though the food there wasn't very fanastic, i'll give two thumbs up for their dessert. Was sms-ing Sweets then and seriously he's a joke, i tell you. Actually wanted me to take-away some chocolate, plus he has the cheek to ask for an extra serving of chocolate. Tsk, immature small boy. :D Walked around Bugis then headed to Vivo as we wanted to catch a movie initially, but we decided not to and shopped some more instead. Yep, so shop shop shop until it was time to home sweet home. (:

Anyway this picture, i like.

Bcos we love you, Dad. ♥ (:

Aites, shall go do my F&N now.
Gooooodbye!

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Friday, April 11, 2008, 10:05 PM
Happy Appreciation Day, to you!

If you fall and stumble down, I'll pick you up off the ground.

Wrote 26 appreciation letters, received 18 and was a happy girl today. :B

Woke up as early as 5.30am this morning to meet CWL and walked in the superly heavy rain to school today. By the time got to our destination, my feet were soaked. And yes, that includes my shoes and socks. So yeah, took the both of them off in 3C while helping Mr Chan to cut out the articles for his over-due Chinese assignment. Bell rang, then that joker piggyback-ed me back to my class and 'accidentally' knocks my leg against his class' teacher's table. Thank, ah. LOL.

And as i was saying, today was indeed a good day. First two periods of Chemistry were spent listening to the songs on my Walkman phone, while doing the assignment Mdm Teoh had instructed the relieve teacher to make us to do in her absence. E. Math was alright, bcos Miss Ang is finally paying attention! And believe it or not, i actually understood what Miss Ho's trying to teach. I know right, awesomeness! Chinese was hilarious as usual, and so i loved it. :D Recess was spent looking for certain people and giving out the appreciation day letters while drinking the oh-so-irresistible Strawberry milk. :D Social Studies with Miss Khoo never fails to keep me awake with her awesome fashion-sense, interesting stories and jokes. Had a formal letter writting test during the last two periods of the day, English, and i guess i handled the test pretty well. :D

Gave out more appreciation letters after school, accompanied Nicole for lunch then headed to Vivo by myself to meet Louyee and Putri. Felt like banging the wall when i tried to call that Louser(loser) 123456789x and no one picks up. So Miss Ang decided to grab some chocolates from Candy Empire to make herself happy. :D Then, Hong Louyee called, said they were at Habourfront and ask me to go there instead. Whoa, best la.

Shopped around for a birthday gift as Putri needed to get something for her Sayang's birthday. Note to self: Don't bring Louise along when you're shopping for a friend's gift. Simply bcos we had to stop by the female section first each time we step into the store. We were superly distracted, i tell you. Especially when i stepped into Topman, was supposed to help Putri look for a simple top, but i just can't help but stare at that wallet. Shucks, should i or should i not. :/

P/S: Syah, help me!

Btw, Miss Ang actually watched Soccer with some interest for the first time in my entire life, today! Cameron messaged me in the middle of my dinner and i immediately switched channels. Haha! Guess what, i saw them all on tv! AND AND, I SAW TKJ(the very first one i saw)! ♥♥♥ (: Oh, and i used to think Soccer was just another sport that requires men to be in shorts and t-shirts, running about in an awesomely huge field while chasing after a white ball. But after watching today's match between Tampanies Rovers and Geylang United(I supported TR, btw), like whoa, i was seriously blown away by those awesome kicks. Not to forget that GU player that was so superly cute. :B

Aites, it's past 12 and i am supposed to meet Bestie around 8am for our run tomorrow. But i think he's still out and won't be surprised if he can't get out of bed in time. Ha!

They're the love; And so are you. ♥

Goodnight!
P/s Thankyou for everything, Sweets. Je t'aime! ♥

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Thursday, April 10, 2008, 8:52 PM
When you left me hanging on,

What significance does the Sunrise/Sunset have to you?
For me, it's you. ♥

If only i could find an answer, to take it all away.
-Joel says:
and dun so emo lei
-Joel says:
left u hanging on
-Joel says:
no nid hang on la
-Joel says:
hang no good u noe
-Joel says:
lol
-Joel says:
like u hang urself u die
-Joel says:
ur phone hang.. u pissed
-Joel says:
ur com hang.. no more internet
-Joel says:
u hang on.. u sad
-Joel says:
haha
Thanks, aye.

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Monday, April 07, 2008, 10:23 PM
I need some xoxo, too.

Because, it's you i wanna hold. ♥

Note to self: 25 more days to Mid Year Examinations. :O

Today was pretty alright. Had F&N practical for the first three periods of the day. We made those superly nice Cheese Straws and Baked Macaroni with almost an unlimited topping of cheese. Somehow, it made me reminisce what Zerlind and i did for our practical exam, last year. Especially that fateful day when both Sweets and Zerlind came over to my place for a trail practical exam and not to forget, a day of fun. Imagine me speaking with confidence that i know my house better than the two of them and end up mistaking salt for sugar. :B

Yeah, and those were the really awesome days i'd never want to forget. Really.

Anyhow, i'm halfway through the Chinese assignment that was supposedly due on the 31st of March. Thank God for a teacher like Mdm Tan, who postponed the deadline to tomorrow. On the other hand, i kinda dread Chinese lessons for the only one reason which is the pile of homework she gives. Ah, contradictions.

Oh and before i forget. I wanna tell the world i love love love Siti Syahidah Bin Saaid. Thank you, love. For all those never-ending encouragement, love, care and concern you've showered upon me. That talk up at the Sky Park really did made me think through certain issues about life. Especially when where we're sitting was just a few steps away from you-know-what, images just flashed through my mind like a thunderbolt. Nevertheless, you made me pull through. Though it's difficult, i know, we would get over it as time passes by. Stand tall, stay strong! You know i'll be there for you the same way you'd be there for me. ♥

xoxo to you, love.

Goodnight!
P/S I won't give up, till it's over. ♥

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Friday, April 04, 2008, 7:54 PM
A one-for-one deal, not bad.

Smile, because the Sun's shining down on you.
'Sometimes affection's like a shy flower that takes time to blossom.'
-Mr Wisely, from the movie, Becoming Jane.
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.
.
♥♥♥
Perhaps i should stop blaming the organisers for not instructing us properly of the route to take, which actually caused us to take the wrong route and made us ran again. It really sucks to start getting your momentum again after resting a while. Not to mention, having really really really bad stitches that caused a pain which feels like someone just pierced through you. :/

Anyhow, thank you lovely people for cheering me up. Especially, you. I'm sorry for not taking the apple you offered. Just didn't really feel like eating. In any case, i love you still the same. :D

Subway-ed at West Mall with Weenee, Louise and Nicole. Was intending to have Sakae Sushi for lunch at first. But we wanted to be good kids and chose to save money instead. :D Met up with the mighty Teen Titans at Cineleisure for Becoming Jane and many many funny issues took place in the theater. Sheesh, those 4 guys can really make you go crazy. Thankfully, Sheren and Valerie were there as well. Or i'm pretty sure i would have just rofl-ed till i get admitted to IMH.

Yep, so bus-ed back to Queenstown MRT with Loh Siyuan while the rest took different buses back home. Talked about certain issues and his replies are seriously superly -.-'''''''', i tell you. (Here's when i go 'LAME SHITZ', look at Louise and both go LOL at the joke.) And though this joker enjoys making fun of me all the time and calling me short just bcos he grew 1cm taller than i am this year, he is indeed a gentleman. Like hello? Which friend would wait for your bus to come with you then go home? Thankyou ah, gay boy. Press on and keep your love for her as strong as a rock! I'll be there when you need advice, that's if you'd say please first. :D

About the movie, Becoming Jane, though it has a pretty good setting and hawt characters like Anne Hataway(as Jane Austen) and James McAvoy(as Tom Lefroy), i suppose the storyline's a little too draggy which made Siyuan and i wanna fall asleep while almost freezing to death. Then comes the funny part, when Sheren asked who was the one that chose the movie. Guess what, both Siyuan and i quickly pointed to Kokweng then he just gave us that typical TKW's :O kind of look. Seriously, joke.
Jane Austen: Could I really have this?
Tom Lefroy: What, precisely?
Jane Austen: You.
Tom Lefroy: Me, how?
Jane Austen: This life with you.
Tom Lefroy: Yes.

-From the movie, Becoming Jane.
Alrighty, shall go be a good girl and try to do work. :D
P/S You, yes you. ♥

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Thursday, April 03, 2008, 7:33 PM
It would all get better in time

Annual Cross Country Race tomorrow! *FAINTS*

Right, so i'm feeling oh-so-nervous yet again. :/

This week was pretty much a roller coaster ride. Shall leave the elaboration to tomorrow's post while i go and catch a flight to Dreamland. And no, you ain't aging and your eyes ain't playing a trick on you. Miss Ang here is gonna go sleep at 8pm. 10 hours of sleep, light breakfast, green shirt with quest shorts and meet friends at Chinese Garden MRT. I am so filled with excitement for tomorrow's big day! Well, at least it is to me. :D

Aites, goodnight!
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.
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All the best for your race tomorrow, Sweets. I know you can do it despite having to compete with the Sec5s as well. Have faith in yourself! Bcos you know i'll always be there for you. ♥

With love, me.

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Monday, January 07, 2008, 10:10 PM
You are my strength

I sprained my back today and it hurts like ABCDEFG. D:

Ah well, training wasn't very tough today except the match against the Sec Fours. It was pretty competitive i guess. Nevertheless, i'm still grateful for these bunch of people i'll be playing with during this year's B' Div South Zone.

Sorry for being such an emo during training just now, anyway. I was just feeling a little lost and confused over some really complicating issue. Let's just pray that God would show me which path to take. A big thank you to Vivian, Enik, Peiling, Putri, Joey and Koh Ming Yang. I'll be back to my retarded self soon, i promise.

Well, there's PE tomorrow. I seriously, really and very-ly dread to see the numbers on the weighing machine. Plus i'm quite sure i shrunk. Be prepared to see Miss Ang jump jump and go crazy, once again. Gaah.

Goodnight, yo.

P.S I miss you, quite terribly.

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Charmaine is God's Child.
(I am far from perfect. But i will be perfect for that imperfect someone who is perfect for me.)
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"Above all else, guard your heart, for its the wellspring of life."
-Proverbs 3:12